The Frightening Day the Ugly Tears Flowed

When our lives become rocked by shocking and unexpected news, we learn profound lessons about ourselves and our Maker. I had one of those lessons when I was a young mom and relatively new in my faith.

We were expecting our third baby and headed into our OB/GYN’s office for an ultrasound that would help us learn if we were having a boy or a girl. We had two healthy boys, almost four and two at the time. They both wanted a little sister.

My husband and I had a grand plan for our family. We hoped for four children and thought a boy and then a girl, another boy, and finally a baby girl would be perfect! Each baby was prayed for and planned.

We even had a book called “How to Choose the Sex of Your Baby,” which explained ovulation and made scientific sense. We gave this book to friends who were starting families, and the planning worked well for all of them.

For us, God had another plan. We were blessed with our first son and then tried for our girl. Nope. Another baby boy! We were excited and modified our plan, thinking, “Okay, God… even better! We will have two boys and then two girls.”

As I lay on the table, ultrasound underway, my husband and boys stood eagerly waiting to find out who would join our family.

After a few minutes, our technician announced that we would have a baby boy. My little boys groaned with disappointment, but my husband took the news in stride.

The rest of the ultrasound went smoothly, and my husband took the boys home for my routine appointment.

Alone in an exam room, my doctor came in and explained that the ultrasound showed an enlarged kidney on our baby and that this is an indicator of Down Syndrome. He said that I would need a high-tech ultrasound the next week and may want to consider terminating the pregnancy.

I was in absolute shock. There was no way I would terminate my pregnancy. I didn’t care that I wasn’t having a girl; I only wanted a healthy baby! Listening but barely believing, I wished my husband had stayed with me for this news.

All my emotions were welling up inside of me, and it took everything I had to keep it together through the office and out the door.

When I got into my car, I lost it. I cried so hard that I could barely see to drive home. Once I made it home, which was a miracle in itself, I found my husband working in the backyard with our boys. Still crying, I couldn’t speak and could barely breathe. It was the ugly, hysterical cry when it all came pouring out and wouldn’t stop.

My husband approached me and tried calming me down by saying, “It will be okay. We’ll try again for our girl.” I just shook my head, trying to get out that that wasn’t it. He finally helped me calm down enough to explain, through sobs, what transpired once he left the office.

My calm and rational husband reassured me that we’d get through this and everything would be alright. I prayed, “Please, LORD, if you are teaching me a lesson, please help me to be a fast learner.” My husband and I accepted the Lord after we were married and just 22 years old; this was the first significant trial we faced as believers in Jesus.

The next day was my Women’s Bible Study, where I shared with my small group what we were facing. My small group of ladies prayed for me and carried me with prayer all that week.

The unbelievable peace that filled my heart and mind as I waited for the special ultrasound was unlike anything I had ever experienced. I should have been anxious, worried, and lost sleep. Instead, I had the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, and it guarded my heart and mind in Christ Jesus! (Phil 4:7)

The following week, my husband and I went in for the high-tech ultrasound. We learned that our baby boy’s kidneys were completely normal. The tech told us that our baby may have needed to urinate, so the kidney was enlarged.

All I knew was that God used this experience to teach me to trust in Him and that He is faithful. I quickly understood that my baby was a gift, and to appreciate a healthy baby over having the girl I always wanted. I was ecstatic and filled with awe and joy!

I vowed right then to be a “fast learner” whenever my world turns upside down with the unexpected.

Learning early on that God is faithful grew my faith roots and anchored me for the future storms that would rage and rock my happy world.

This defining time shaped my faith, and for that, I am grateful to have gone through the fear and the “what if’s” to refine and fortify the foundation of my faith in God, who will never leave or forsake me.

Our baby boy, Grant, was born healthy on June 17th, just days before my birthday. As we celebrate our birthdays this month, I am reminded of James 1:17a, “Every good and perfect gift is from above” (NIV).

Which life lesson did you learn that made you grateful? Please share in the comments below. 


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6 thoughts on “The Frightening Day the Ugly Tears Flowed

  1. Lynnette Holdridge

    The Lord has blessed me in so many ways, so many times in my life . One very special blessing was when I was diagnosed with stage four non small cell lung cancer, He was there with me from the beginning. I had a calmness and “ a peace which transcends all understanding.” Philippians 4.7. I was given a life expectancy of about eight months. The doctor I had at the time was ready to begin radiation treatment and chemotherapy within the next two weeks without even waiting for the biopsy results to come back. There was a chance that I could have a biomarker that would provide me with a different treatment and a better chance of survival.

    This is when my family stepped in and began searching out other cancer treatment hospitals. We interviewed doctors via online interviews. There were a couple of great choices. We chose Scripps in San Diego for my care both because of their reputation and their location.

    My biopsy results showed that I had a biomarker! This meant that my treatment would be in pill form! The medication is very expensive. It is $2800.00 a month. This amount would have been too expensive for me to afford. I was devastated. The pharmaceutical company that makes the drug has a foundation that will cover the cost of the medication if I qualified. I did qualify! Praise the Lord! The drug has very little side effects other than tiredness and some swelling in my feet. A far cry from chemotherapy.

    I also had radiation on my spine and right lung. The radiation not only killed the cancer where it was placed, but it killed the cancer in my adrenal gland, lymph nodes and shrunk the tumor in my right lung. Every place that cancer was! This is very rare and usually never happens with lung cancer. But it did. Another God thing!

    Currently, I am cancer free! I have tests and doctor visits every four months.
    I have no doubt that my condition is due to answered prayers. There were people praying for me all over the country. Sometimes I speak with someone and they tell me that they have been praying for me. God is great, and I am living proof.

    1. LeannSeale Post author

      AMEN to that testimony of God’s love and mercy! I am forever grateful that our God is faithful and has blessed you with these incredible gifts of healing. You give hope to many with such a serious diagnosis. You are proof that God does answer prayers. He also refines us through these trials, and I see a refinement, grace, and peace in your spirit that is beautiful. Thank you for sharing your amazing and hope-filled story.

      1. Lynnette Holdridge

        Thank you, precious girl. I have appreciated your love and support through it all.

  2. Lorie Porter

    My life lesson in gratefulness also involves pregnancy (or lack there of in my case). My husband and I also had the sex of our future baby all planned out. We wanted a boy, actually all boys, no girls please! As per His MO, God had other plans. After 2 years of trying, several miscarriages, daily blood thinner injections, dietary adjustments, and acupuncture, our baby GIRL, Hope, was born strong and healthy. We didn’t care if she was a girl or boy, we finally had our baby. God then blessed us (rather quickly) with another healthy baby girl, Hannah. I couldn’t imagine my life without those two beautiful girls. God really does know what He’s doing, we just have to trust Him.

    1. LeannSeale Post author

      Lorie, AMEN to that! You have two beautiful blessings. The road is not one we would choose to travel, but God is faithful and trustworthy, and He knows how to give good gifts to His children. Thank you for sharing your story of hope & Hope and Hannah. 🙂

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