The Battle Within Me

An internal battle rages within me – fighting daily for my focus and my allegiance. – I can’t shake this unsettled heaviness that attempts to confront me, even though –  I remind myself that God is in control, He is to be trusted, and all things work together for good in the end.  

Do you know what I’m talking about? 

Some days I wake up with energy and positivity, quiet time and coffee.  I feel light, productive, and purposeful. –  On this side of the battle, I feel hope.  I remember –  that victory has already been won and,  God is over all and in all.  I have peace. 

Other days I feel heavy. — Waking to quiet time and coffee, – I struggle to stay focused. –  My mind is scattered.  I feel unsettled, like a dark cloud lingers above me, and I struggle to have a productive day. – It seems like I’m walking through a thick, muddy mire — maybe the unknown, maybe fear?

Maybe it’s the lack of seeing “my people” – visiting with family and friends or gathering for church.  Maybe it’s dodging people on walks (only an enthusiastic wave allowed) and suiting up just to buy groceries. 

But I believe this is a spiritual battle. — God’s Word reminds me of His character and promise. —  The Light shatters the darkness. — I can trust in my Lord because He is worthy and faithful. —  I will not be shaken.

The following verses found in 1 Peter 5:6-11, have been on my heart.  A few days later I read them in one of my devotions, then I heard them in a sermon.  That’s when I know God is telling me something…

 Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.

10 And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. 11 To him be the power forever and ever. Amen.

You’d think Peter had written this message for us this month! 

While going through a different battle — one with cancer a couple of years ago — I sat in church one Sunday and had a moment of clarity and understanding. —  I realized that singing praises to God (not just because He is worthy) causes those truths we sing about to echo in our hearts and minds when a storm hits – such as this one.

During Holy Week, remind yourself of God’s goodness. –  Praise Him because He is the God of peace, a good Father, our Redeemer, and the Way, the Truth and the Life.

Worship & Praise God with:

In Christ Alone”  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8kvFtXphmMU   

Good Good Father”  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CqybaIesbuA

What a Beautiful Name”   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nQWFzMvCfLE        

Praise You in This Storm”   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0YUGwUgBvTU  “

Are you facing a battle within you?  — How are you defeating the dark side and welcoming  in the light?

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10 thoughts on “The Battle Within Me

  1. Catherine Leonard

    I know exactly what you’re talking about.
    And 1 Peter 5:6-11. Are spot on for these times.
    This one also spoke to me today.
    Psalm 139: 1-6 (MSG)
    I’m an open book to you;
    Even from a distance, you know what I’m thinking.
    You know when I leave and when I get back;
    I’m never out of your sight.
    You know everything I’m going to say before I start the first sentence.
    I look behind me and you’re there,
    then up ahead and you’re there, too- your reassuring presence, coming and going.
    This is too much, too wonderful- I can’t take it all in!

    1. LeannSeale Post author

      Catherine, thank you for sharing Psalm 139 – One of my favorites and that version in the Message Bible is beautiful.

  2. Alicia Webb

    I needed to read this tonight. You touched my heart, soul, and mind through your words and God’s word. Thank you!

    1. LeannSeale Post author

      Alicia, that make my heart so happy and fuels me to write authentically and vulnerably more and more. Thank you for reading!

    1. LeannSeale Post author

      Mandy, I’m grateful what God put on my heart was what you needed to hear. Thank you for your encouragement. Hugs to you! 🙂

  3. Renee Dodd

    I am glad I am not alone in feeling this way. I love that God spoke to you 3 times and consistently shared this message. And you shared with us! Amazing when that happens.
    Worship music is my favorite way to feel the Holy Spirit deep in my soul. The ones you listed are some of my very favorites. I also love “No longer Slaves.”

    1. LeannSeale Post author

      Renee, thank you for sharing. “No longer Slaves” is on my playlist too 🙂 I have a feeling you “worship out of your eyes” like Lorie Porter says – with tears, as the Spirit moves you to praise.

      1. Lorie

        You know me too well! After reading your beautiful words, I am worshipping through my eyes right now!

  4. Lorie

    This post really spoke to me. I’m glad I’m not alone in having a heavy heart some days. Thank you for sharing your truth.

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