“A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.” – Ruth Bell Graham
Spending so much time together can be a blessing or a curse! Hilarious memes cause us to laugh at our new reality. I get it. – My husband crosses over into my space on some days! I have to zig-zag around him as we make phone calls, host conference meetings, and attempt to be productive, all while spending quality time together.
Is too much “we” time leading to fights over little things and stressing your marriage?
This week during a heart to heart conversation, my husband and I came to the conclusion that we keep telling each other the same stories, opinions, and ideas. We were driving each other a bit crazy!
I usually use up many of my words for the day on my friends, the store clerks at Trader Joe’s, Target or Vons… but these days, it is mainly just him. My “sound bites” that I know he can handle, have been replaced with long monologues. His nerves were shot. Mine have been too.
Once we realized our social isolation and only “we” time was the source of our short tempers – we were able to diffused most of the frustration.
It’s easy to displace our concerns and stressors onto our spouse. I believe it is safe to say, none of us have experienced this level of shut down and this type of battle in our lifetime.
Perspective: So let’s step back and gain some perspective. This virus will come to pass. We will have an end date, and life will shift to a new normal. Let’s decide now to focus on what is important: offering love and grace, letting the small stuff go, and working to come out of this battle more united.
Let’s remind ourselves of how grateful we are to have our loved ones in our lives. Realizing the gift that they are to us shifts our focus from the annoying idiosyncrasies to what really matters. We should look for the good in our spouse and assume they have their heart in the right place.
Compromise: The secret ingredient to all healthy relationships. You and your spouse may have brilliant but different ways of carrying out the same task. Learn from one another. Take on a teachable, humble spirit. You may learn a new way of doing something. And with a humble approach, your spouse may be inclined to learn from you as well.
As you navigate being home together, work out a routine. Everyone needs space. Take a walk alone, separate outside/inside time, then meet back up for meals.
The healthier you both are mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally, the better you will be together. Pray for one another, spend time in God’s Word, exercise on a regular basis, connect with at least one friend or family member each day, and focus on positive- calming- refreshing activities. (see “Our Focus – part 2” blog post for a list of 12 Ways to Bring Peace & Joy to Your Day: https://leannseale.com/our-focus-part-2/)
Laughter: “Couples who laugh together, last together.” Don’t underestimate the power of humor and laughter. Times are extremely heavy right now. Let’s help each other by laughing at ourselves. Watch light-hearted movies and shows or share memes that crack you up.
Part 2 – “Staying Strong While Staying Home” will include CREATIVE AT- HOME DATE NIGHTS to keep your love alive and the spark ignited.
Question: How are you navigating staying home with your spouse? What’s working well for you? What concerns do you have?
Please know that I am praying for you, your marriage, and your family. God bless you & stay well.
You are such a great writer, honey!
You can have a way of explaining things that we can all relate to.
I loved your Easter examples and the scriptures that you chose. The talk in front of the fire was a great touch.